


Slim as DImes

by Whitmania



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-20
Updated: 2005-10-20
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14466747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whitmania/pseuds/Whitmania
Summary: Oh,the things you hear in a cracked spaceship!





	Slim as DImes

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

Slim as DImes

## Slim as DImes

Slim as Dimes, Part 3  
By belasera  
NC-17...ish 

Oh, the things you hear in a cracked spaceship...I'm going back to my first love, Jayne/Kaylee, with a smattering of Simon for good luck. Spoilers for the BDM! 

A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. All recognizable characters belong not to me, but to Joss Whedon and the darlings over at Universal. No money made, no harm meant. 

The bulkheads were thick, solid like everything else on Serenity. They didn't wear or crack on their own, took some sort of damage to breech `em. Kaylee thought it musta happened before Mal'd bought her, maybe even while she sat derelict. It was nothin' Mal woulda noticed, took Kaylee a bit to notice it, and she knew Serenity like she knew her own face. 

Was when Jayne came she noticed. He'd settled in to the bunk next to hers, and she was glad of it truth be told, felt good to know she had a neighbor, even one the Cap'n had thrown her a few warning words about. `Fore he'd strolled in Mal had said to her, not lookin' in her eyes, 

"Know you like to be friendly, lil Kaylee, and it ain't on my mind to know nothin' about that, but this one coming? He ain't for you." 

Kaylee had just shook her head like she couldn't fathom his meaning, but his warning was more an advertisement to her, made her wonder what about this new recruit he thought she might like. Maybe he was swai, tall and blond, or maybe lookin' all like smooth chocolate... 

Jayne wasn't what she imagined, and she thought maybe Mal didn't know the first thing about girlfolk when she spied him, draggin' his duffle and lookin more'n a bit like a bag of dirty laundry himself. Wasn't `til he dropped that bag, wiped his brow and stretched out his shoulders that she'd smiled at him. 

She'd mind the Captain, sure, as much as she'd ever minded her pa and that was most of the time. She'd mind him on this, even if it was more'n a little lonesome on this boat. When she'd signed on she thought maybe she'd be getting' to know more people, and much as she loved the one's she had gotten, it was a job to be always seein' Wash and Zoe look tussled in the mornin', or Inara so in control of herself, makin' a livin' off the only thing Kaylee missed from back home. She thought it was a mite pitiless for the Captain to outlaw Jayne, but she'd behave. Best she knew how, anyway. 

That first night he was there was when she found it. Right by her pillow, where the two bulkheads intersected, a crack, slim as dimes, nothin' to be noticed if there wasn't nothin' on the other side. It took her a minute to find it, after she realized she could hear Jayne movin' around in his room. She turned off her light and a sliver of his shone in. Wasn't nothin' to worry about, she figured she'd weld it up tight in the morning, and he'd never even know. 

But Jayne snored. Not like a trumpet, just soft and steady, like honey on worn wood. Kaylee listened to him sleeping, inches from her own head, let the rhythm match her won just to see if she could. Didn't take much figurin' for her to know why she liked that sound. This ship was like the cabinet of the apothecary back home, little compartments all lined up, no one thing leakin' into another. Kaylee sometimes felt like a little bundle of roots in her compartment, never touching another thing. Hearing a real human breathin' next to her was like livin' in the world again, so she let it be. It was just a little crack, couldn't never do no harm. 

It's not even anything she really thought about, `til Simon came aboard. Simon was like a Christmas tree, like a thing from a fairy story and he'd a lot of trouble to bring but the Cap'n don't warn her off him and that was good enough for Kaylee. It was hard going, though, harder than she'd ever had, and she tried hard to be patient. Made friends with River, though that ain't nothin' hard, tried to show Simon how she cared `bout more than just havin' fun with him, though she wants that too. Wants it like nothin' else. She started thinkin' about welding that crack again, when she can't stop thinkin' about Simon, when she should be sleepin'. Thinkin' `bout all the things two bodies like theirs ought to be doin' to pass the time. 

She's heard Jayne, though he can be quiet like mice when he's takin' care of business. Kaylee can too, usually, and she'd gotten into a fair dependable routine, just enough to keep herself from goin' wooly. Always made sure Jayne was sleepin' before she did, and always made sure she found somethin' to do away form her bed when she heard him. It was a way to keep private and keep his soft snores, she didn't want to give up neither. But with Simon around, with the thoughts she was havin' `bout him, she didn't trust herself to keep as quiet as she needed to. 

She tried, tried to be quiet but it felt like her head was gonna come off and she bit her lip, breathed hard through her nostrils in a way she imagined was about as unsexy as could be, as she slipped her fingers where they was needed, imagined it was Simon working her over, whispering sweet little words in her ear. She groaned, she knew it was too loud, that if Jayne woke he would hear it but she was so close, had to keep goin' in the same direction or she'd break wide open and scream. She stuffed her fist in her mouth, bit down as she closed her eyes, saw Simon, heard his breathless moans in her ear, 

"Yeah, like that..." 

And she was coming, too fast and too hot, feeling the burn right up to her cheeks as she pushed up, her body an arch from shoulder to heel. 

"Yeah, oh yes, oh." 

"Yeah." 

She gave a rough gasp as she fell back to her bed, her body still a bundle of good, good, good, even as her brain caught up with the bad. Wasn't Simon's voice had joined hers, wasn't no imaginary lover. Was Jayne. Silent now, maybe even tryin' to hide it, but she could hear him panting, could imagine his chest rising and fallin' as fast as her own. Probably hadn't meant it, to say nothin' out loud, or maybe he did. Maybe meant to tease her, knowin' what she was thinkin' about. She even let herself hope for a moment that it was only coincidence, he'd just been doin' the same thing at the same time was all. But Kaylee had to admit that Jayne's hearin' was probably better'n hers, probably he'd heard her before and wanted to rile her a bit. No matter the reason, it was as embarrassing as all get out, even more so when she heard him roll over, get settled in with a hearty 

"Mmmm..." 

If'n he meant to tease, he was lettin' the opportunity pass him by. Jayne barely said "mornin'" to her at breakfast, and wasn't no awkward way to his manner at all when he asked if she wanted a cup of coffee. Made her wonder if she'd imagined all that noise in her sex crazed brain last night. Made her decide to leave it be, if Jayne was this casual `bout doin' something' like that. Kaylee didn't right care herself, once she got over blushin' about it, she thought it was even sorta funny, them doing' that next to each other, and not even sayin' a thing about it. Maybe it was even normal like, more normal than Simon always keepin' his hands to his self, anyway. Kaylee wondered, not for the first time, if he even ever touched himself. 

So she let the sliver of a crack be, and vowed to be quiet like a nun. Trouble was Jayne hadn't made the same vow. She could be nunnish all she wanted, but she couldn't pretend that was no monk next door. He was bein' loud on purpose, had to be, way he grunted and groaned sounded like he was right on top of her. But it was Kaylee's fault too that she heard so much, since she didn't leave her bed when he started. She just laid there, still as stone, sometimes she had to slide her hands under her bottom to keep `em from roaming, `cause she wasn't gonna try to think on Simon when it was Jayne's self makin' a fuss. She waited til he was silent one night, after they'd had a bad job and Kaylee figured he was tired, she was tuckered herself but her body was beggin' for release, Jayne or no. It was easy, when it was quiet, to let her mind wander to the doctor, to all the best brightest parts of him, even the ones she ain't seen yet. Easy to set a scenario like a little play in her head, him sneakin' down her ladder, crawling over her and settlin' his lips over hers, sweet as plums. 

Less easy to pretend she didn't hear Jayne, who wasn't that tired after all, or maybe he'd been waiting for her all this time she'd been waiting for quiet, `cause his groans were slippin' over hers like they was made for her. She squeezed her eyes shut, ignored the way his noises sparked her body to frenzy, just let them be part of the fantasy until she came hard, Simon's name ricocheting out her brain if not her mouth. It only took a minute for Jayne to follow her, she heard his little gasp and then nothing but their breathing slowing, and it was less awkward this time for Kaylee to simply let it be, let her breathing match his until she fell asleep. 

It was same as last time, Jayne didn't say nothin' funny to her, didn't try to make up reasons to be touchin' her. Just stayed Jayne, surly and friendly by turn like wasn't no secret they shared. 

"Like two of them at night ain't the same folk as us in the mornin'" 

Kaylee thought with a bit o' wonder. 

Nothing' changed, nothin' turned weird, though Kaylee started to let her eyes take a bit more in. Like the way his hands were shaped, way his muscles flexed when he picked up any little thing. She stored the pictures of him away, not that she wanted to use `em, just to know. What he might look like, when he was makin' those noises on the other side. Was just a few times, and it coulda stopped there, maybe if either of them had anything different to do it woulda. Seemed they was both agreeable to something more regular though, even if it was never said. 

Kaylee could start it with a long sigh, just to see if he was listening. Usually he was, she'd hear him move on his bed, though she didn't try to imagine what he was doing, just waited for his answering groan, soft as pillows. She still thought of Simon, but it was more sporadic, just flashes of him as she strained to hear every noise of Jayne's. It was just easier, to take what was there rather than make all that nonsense up. More and more she thought that's what it was, nonsense. Simon wasn't ever gonna touch her, and she had Jayne's deep groans in her ear anytime she wanted them, no strings attached. She tried to make it good for him too, sometimes using fingers, sometimes her vibrator, she'd let her little hiccups of pleasure grow and stretch until they were both gasping and near to a keen. Never no words, though, not since the first time, just noises that could mean whatever the other wanted. 

Sometimes their bodies would thump against the wall between them, and when that happened Kaylee found it hard not to think of him, his thighs rubbin' the bulkhead as his hand slid along it like he could find hers answering. Kaylee imagined that's what he did, `cause it was what she did herself sometimes, when her body started to be wantin' more, she'd inch herself close and think about sayin' his name. Jayne...she let it slip through her body long and slow until it was teasing her tongue. Only while though, and she was always glad after that she hadn't said it, but when he knocked on the wall one night after they finished and said in a husked out voice, 

"Night Kaylee." 

She didn't hesitate to reply, 

"Goodnight Jayne" 

Was just nothin' maybe, but maybe it was somethin' new, this bridge to talkin'. Kaylee wouldn't deny the excitement it sparked, thinkin' of dirty things she might be able to say when she couldn't be seen, it'd be a real thrill... 

But then everything changed, ship became like a graveyard so sudden and foolin' about with Jayne was just another bit of her life that ended, like so many other things, after Miranda. 

They was bad deaths. Jayne couldn't stop thinkin' it, the words dropping' into his head at all times of the day, just settling in til he felt sick from it. They was bad, wasn't right for two people like that to be...just...plowed down, by the gorramn Alliance, who'd he'd never spared as much hatred for as Mal did, but the sentiment was catching on. By the feng luh reavers, who had no ruttin' sense to them, be doing the sort of wreckin' they did and for what? For nothin'. For bad deaths. 

Everyone was livin' it, not just Jayne. Wasn't nobody not movin' through the day like the ship was tilted bad, like they was about to go sliding. 

Kaylee...Jayne wished he could do something when her sobbin' came roarin' into his bunk, but he had nothin' worth a damn to say to her. She had Simon now, anyway. Wasn't everything bad. Inara came back, seemed like for good, and River was like a new person, to be talkin' all the time nearly sensible, to be flyin' the ship when Cap'n would let her. Zoe was...such a thing that Kaylee didn't know what to be her own self around her, wanted to be holdin' her all the time, but she never did, not even once. Zoe was calm in a way Kaylee couldn't fathom, not when she was sobbin' most nights her own self, holding her belly like bits might tumble out from the way it hurt. 

In a way, Simon made it worse. 

It couldn't be helped, them bein' way they were together, like two people found a treasure chest and couldn't stop pryin' it open to peer inside. That's how Kaylee felt, anyhow. Like she had to always be checking to make sure he was still there, that this one good thing in all the muck was really happening. It gave her pain to think how Zoe might feel, seein' them slide right into bein' the couple on board, but Kaylee started to think it couldn't matter that much, that nothin' was gettin' past that wall of steady hurt Zoe had put up when they buried Wash. 

Kaylee tried to be happy, and came so close she could ignore the difference for a while. Simon was...was more'n she'd hoped for, more'n she ever thought the `verse likely to hand her, but there he was, his mouth hot on hers in the engine room, givin' her all she'd wanted for damn near forever. 

Kaylee tired not to think it, tried to squash it dead when she did. 

"Too little, too late." 

Wasn't true, was just her feelin' tore apart `bout all the misery had come to them, so she buried the thought and fondled her treasure instead. 

Space was an issue, funnily enough. The engine room was hers, and she loved to have Simon there, but after the first few times he laughingly asked her when they were going to find a room. 

"Well, I've heard tell the guest berths are pretty nice." 

He'd made a bit of a face, like something had to be explained. 

"Yes, but Kaylee, I wouldn't feel comfortable....it's just that...River will hear us." 

"River's a seer, she can do more than hear us no matter where we are." 

"I know, and I'm sorry, I just don't think I'm ready to be intimate with you...there. Can we go to your bunk?" 

Kaylee made the same face Simon had just a moment earlier, as she stuttered, 

"Uh, w...well...no." 

Simon raised his eyebrow at her and smiled a bit. 

"Why? What deep dark secret are you hiding in there?" 

Kaylee blushed, punched his arm a bit and left her hand on it. 

"It's just that, well, its sorta funny, but there's a wee little crack in my wall, and Jayne and I can hear each other." 

Simon's smile faltered. 

"What exactly do you mean?" 

"Oh, well, it's just a tiny crack, but we chatter through it sometimes, and I'd be embarrassed to think he was hearing you and me." 

"That's not something I'd enjoy myself, but can't you just patch the crack up?" 

Kaylee felt ill at the lie she'd already told, but even worse at the truth she was about to. 

"Well, I kinda don't want to." 

Simon stared at her like she'd just grown a moon out of the side of her head, didn't seem like he could think of a thing to say at that, so Kaylee continued. 

"Just sorta friendly is all, I don't want to stop just now, what with everyone feelin' so low, might hurt his...feelins." 

Simon's mouth worked, opening and closing in wonder before a darker look crossed his face. 

"Did you, before...did you and Jayne have something...?" 

Kaylee looked him in the eye, thought for a flash of Zoe's hard look and how it was a thing to be needed, oftentimes like now, as she told Simon the absolute truth. 

"Naw, I never touched Jayne." 

Simon's face thawed, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her near, 

"Maybe you're right, the way things are right now, we should try not to upset anything. You're incredibly sweet to worry about Jayne like that, you know." 

She just smiled weakly as his hands stroked her back, let him pull her close as he whispered in her ear. 

"Want to go check on the engine?" 

Simon made her feel alive, when they were together she felt so close to whole it was like she might even get through a night without crying. When she was alone again, it was just...gone. But she was never really alone, from that first night back in her own bunk after...after, he was there. Right there, though she couldn't see him and she couldn't say a thing to him. She just cried, and he just shushed. Like it was the only sound he was built to make, she would hear it coming through soft and steady, 

"shhh..." 

Nothing else, just that. 

It didn't help, exactly, it didn't dry her eyes but it was there and wasn't nothing. She could have just fixed the crack, invited Simon into her bunk like he wanted her to and let him hold her, fuck her, whatever it took to keep her from feelin' like the black was about to suck her right out of her skin. 

She just didn't. Couldn't admit to herself why, couldn't admit that the further out they pushed from Miranda, the less she cried, and the clearer she started to see what was the truth of the matter. 

Her and Simon, shiny Simon, they weren't quite...the thing. The thing she thought they'd be, anyway. They were fun, he was fun, and kind and loving and often....absent. There were silences that stretched into awkward, more and more they had less to say. Simon turned steadily back to his work in the infirmary and Kaylee invited him less to the engine room. There were some many reasons to think of, though. They'd started like fire `cause things'd been bad, but now it was just evenin' out. It was right not to be missin' on him all the time, that's the way a good love was supposed to be. 

But Kaylee's thoughts were turning from him in a way that was nothin' but bad. When they were together, she thought only of him, she was all wrapped up in him, couldn't see nothin' else. There was somethin' missing though, there was a dull edge to the way they made love that left Kaylee tense, hours later. 

It was somethin' she could give herself, and there was no shame in that, but at night in her bunk, when she quietly slipped her hand down her belly, it wasn't Simon she thought of, and that did leave her shamed. 

She fought it, hard, she fought against that long needy sigh that would be answered, as sure as she knew anything she knew that it would still be answered. But she bit her lip and just remembered what she could have had anew. It was wrong to be wantin' this thing when what she and Simon had was real, was solid and sure, not no dirty thing in the dark. 

The ship seemed to right itself, slowly but with a surety. It would never be as noisy or as funny without Wash, but River was more and more like a person and sometimes it seemed like things she said, way she smiled or laughed brought Wash right into the room. Made Kaylee's breath catch, way she did that. 

Yet the better things were, the more Kaylee had to see what wasn't. She couldn't give up on Simon, not after all the wantin' she'd done, but she didn't know how to make it more than that, more than just her not givin' up `cause she was a stubborn ox. 

"Simon?" 

She said it as they lay tangled in her hammock, they'd still never gone anywhere but there and after three months they should have both known that was a sign of something wrong. 

"Hmmm?" 

"Simon, I...you make me feel something good, and that's a true thing...but..." 

Simon smiled against her hair. 

"Mmmhmm?" 

"Do you ever...is there anything missin' here?" 

He pulled back and looked at her, her eyes sincere and something else, maybe...hopeless. 

"No, bao bai, no...this is good, right here, with us, this is good." 

She'd knowed he was gonna say that, couldn't muster up the will to laugh when he added, 

"Only thing missing is a bed." 

There was a bed. It was a bed Kaylee was looking forward to more and more, her own soft bed where questions weren't always crowding her, where she was free and easy. Quiet, though, since she'd stopped crying not a word had passed through the crack, and it was a silence starting to get large. Wanting to be broken. 

She was chewing her tongue, her body coiled and twisted as she worked, and it felt like a job, do be doing this and wanting something different, something more than just all this...quiet. Maybe she did it on purpose, slapped her hand against the bulkhead, letting it do what her tongue refused to. 

He answered. His voice was low and urgent when he did. 

"Kaylee, please...please, I can almost hear you." 

She groaned, needy and rumbling like she'd held it for years, and she heard Jayne echo it back at her. 

This was it, the thing she'd been craving, this senseless messy game of blind lust, this thing they pretended didn't exist, so it never had to be explained. Yes, this. 

She went quick, tight spirals all through her as her thighs shimmied up, down, across the bulkhead so the cold metal made her yelp and Jayne's breathe like the big bad wolf blowing her house down made her near keen until she was gone. 

"Kaylee" 

It was her turn to Shush now, 

"Shhhh, no Jayne." 

She wasn't ready for him to be sayin' her name, wasn't ready for anything at all to be said. This was enough, just his breathing like a spent racehorse that she'd missed more than she'd known. For just a flash, she let herself imagine what he looked like, tangled in his sheet, chest rising huge before falling, one arm across his eyes as his cheeks lost their red heat slowly. 

She shuddered back a groan that she knew he heard anyway and turned away from the wall, but not before whispering just loud enough. 

"Night Jayne." 

He didn't answer, just turned from her as well and slept, and Kaylee was spent and sleepy enough to admit that she'd listened hard for it. 

Breakfast was a wretch of a time. Simon sat next to her, smiled sweetly at her and Jayne ignored her completely, seemed not a stitch bothered by the situation. She nearly believed it. 

Didn't matter `bout him, anyway, wasn't really about him, what she knew had to be done. She knew what was needed, though she could barely believe it was the truth. Her and Simon had to be ended. Didn't matter none about Jayne, it wasn't gonna be done for his sake. Just a thing that had to be done was all. 

She kept reminding herself, when Simon flirted comfortably with her as they washed dishes, when he grabbed her hand after and pulled her to the engine room. It was goodbye, she thought to herself, or maybe even a last try. 

She did try, she was there for him, she wrapped her arms around him and didn't think of another thing in the world, and it so nearly worked that it changed her mind. 

A bit longer, a bit more, she could polish them back up until they shined again. 

But seemed no shiny thing in the `verse could stop her from wanting what Jayne offered, and that night he beat her to it for the first time ever. Maybe he did mind, then, `cause it was him that moaned first, moaned in a way that was like beggin' and she couldn't say no, and couldn't stop her tongue from making a word out of her breathy reply. 

"Jayne..." 

They were like two idiots, didn't know to say anything but the other's name and 

"Yes, yes, please." 

He was a ragged chant in her ear that went straight through her, soaking her as it did. She didn't know what more she could do, she gasped and panted and willed the wall to dust but it didn't budge, wasn't ever gonna budge. 

Jayne musta been thinkin' the same thing, when he rasped out to her, 

"Kaylee, oh good goramn I wanna see you." 

She couldn't answer, just mewed stupidly for a moment before her wits made an appearance. 

"Jayne, oh, Jayne, no..nonono" 

"Don't say no, just talk to me, please" 

She couldn't talk, she couldn't trust herself at all. 

"no" 

Real small but he heard all right, his breath steadied a bit and she heard him shift, slowed her own hand and panted herself still. 

"This ain't cheatin you know." 

He said it like he almost thought it was true, and she gave a little laugh. 

"Yeah it is Jayne." 

"Naw, it aint't cheatin `til I come over there." 

Kaylee's breath caught in her throat, the thought was like a hard burn in her body, and he knew. 

His voice was darker than she'd heard, near like a threat when he asked, 

"You want me to come over there?" 

Kaylee stammered out an answer, `cause he seemed need one. 

"I...Jayne, it's too much, please don't...I" 

"It's alright, I know you can't say it and I won't come over `til you do. You're safe. This is right good right here, you and me and this goramn wall." 

"Don't be.." 

"Naw, I ain't angry none, baby, this is good, just hearin' you moanin' and knowin' it's for me. Is it for me?" 

That she could answer, and she did with a sigh. 

"Yeh, it's for you Jayne." 

"That's real fine then," 

His voice got ragged again and Kaylee knew he was touching himself, she reached down to join him as her heart sped up. 

"Soon though, I'm comin' over there soon, Kaylee, you know that right?" 

She stilled, didn't trust herself to move her lips `cause she knew what she'd say, the words already rollin' through her head loud as a train 

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" 

Jayne was usually gone from his bunk before her in the morning. But when she woke she heard him, running water and hummin' a bit as he shaved, she could tell that's what he was doin'. If she was crazy she'd have thumped the wall, told him not to, told him she liked him scruffy. But Kaylee wasn't crazy, wasn't `bout to invite the sort of trouble came with sayin' things like that to a man ain't your'n. 

And Jayne wasn't. Wasn't nothin' but a hot honeyed voice behind a wall, much as he rumbled `bout comin' over to her, that wasn't what this thing was. Couldn't be, not whiles she had a good man lovin' her wholesome and to her face. Kaylee couldn't think how he'd look on her if he knew, `bout what she did with Jayne, how hot it made her to be so secret and raw with him. She'd just die of shame if Simon could see her there in the morning, lookin' like a girl'd been sexed throughout the whole night, and now was dozing in her bunk and listening to her lover wash up. That's what she was like, only a normal girl wouldn't be listening through a bulkhead. 

Normal girl wouldn't dread seein' her boyfriend, either, but that's what Kaylee was doin'. Even thinkin' of Simon as her boyfriend was getting' absurd, she didn't even know why she'd thought there was space for thing like that on Serenity neither. Simon was so...so...tight, so closed even when he was smilin' right at her. Was like he was waitin' for somethin', like he was passin' time until he could be himself again. Or maybe that's just how she felt, like they was playin' at somethin' just to see if they could. Thing couldn't drag on for no ever more, only seemed Simon would never be the one to stop it. Took him so goramn long to start, and the thought of screeching along forever like this, like an engine bout to rust to pieces that just kept going...thought of it made her want to scream out. 

She didn't. Jayne was teaching her how to be quiet, and how not. She could keen as long as she wanted and he'd just take it all in, pull it out of her just by hearin' it, leave her quiet and clean for Simon. 

They did jobs. Kaylee liked the crime bit of their life more'n anyone wanted to know it so she kept it to herself, but they did jobs and Kaylee always came through, always earned her share. River, too, earned more'n her share but never even looked at the money, of course. 

"Like it's a thing don't matter, like it don't feed her mouth." 

Kaylee cursed the anger she felt, just for a minute, `cause it wasn't for River at all but for Simon, who still couldn't seem to acknowledge the way their lives really were. She hated to think mean on River though, and not only because her friend was sure to know. River never gave an indication of it, never stopped bein' anything but a friend, though she must have known...everything. She only once looked at Kaylee like it hurt her, only once and she said to her then, 

"He did try. And he's sorry, too." 

Kaylee just nodded, let herself cry just for a minute like a real girl losing her first love. 

It was over with Simon, though it wasn't yet said by either of them. They just stopped kissin' one day, stopped saving seats at mealtimes, stopped coming by the infirmary or the engine room. Wasn't even angry so much as sad. The others didn't notice, they didn't fight or cry, they still talked like two people with no hurt between them. But it was there. Kaylee needed him to know that it was there, that she'd cried for him, that she would never stop being his friend as long as he'd have her. That she wasn't in love with him. Thing needed said. 

Kaylee let silence wrap her up, silence with Simon, silence with Jayne. Wasn't no moaning through the crack for near two weeks when he found her, came to her in the engine room and made their thing real. 

He just stood in the doorway, waited for her to invite him in, and she smiled when she did. 

"You've been real quiet. We all through, then?" 

Not angry, not hurt, just wantin' to know. 

What surprised Kaylee was how easy it was to answer, to be truthsome and frank as a handshake when she did. 

"It's tricksome, Jayne. I don't want to be doin' whatever it is we do until I work things out with Simon. `Cause it don't matter what you say, it is cheatin' til I break it off with him. Cheatin' on both o' you." 

Jayne smirked right up to his eyes. 

"You don't need to be finishin' with him on my account, ya know. Thought you was meaning to have us both. I didn't reckon t'was one or the other for you." 

"Yeah, it is." 

Jayne paused, squinted his eyes at her like she might be foolin'. 

"That's weird. We don't have to be touchin' or nothin', could be just like before." 

She smacked his stomach with the back of her hand, hard enough to knock a grunt out of the man. 

"You have mean little morals Jayne! It can't be as before until I'm just me again, til there's no more me and Simon." 

She hadn't expected him to come any closer, suck the air out of the room and replace it with his smell as he leaned into her. 

"Then would you break his goramn heart already?" 

He stepped in, til their bellies were brushing. 

"'Cause I don't even want it to be as before." 

He looked her in the eye and made his meaning clear, ran one hand up her side and around to cup her breast through her coveralls. Shoved them aside roughly and tweaked her nipple under her cotton shirt until she inhaled all shaky like she had tacks in her lungs. 

"Next time you see me, I'll be comin' down your ladder. If'n that ain't what you want..." 

He took his hand off her breast, ran it over her hair and let his eyes go wide. 

"Lock your door." 

He meant it, no two ways about it. And she meant to be free, if'n she decided to leave her lock off she meant to do with as little hurt as she could to them that didn't earn it. It wasn't easy, to be endin' it, to look on Simon as he nodded and sighed. Sparked a bit of anger, way he took it so calm like nothin' he could do about it. But he was right not to fight her even if she wished he would. Nothin' would change them, make them somethin' to be fightin' for. 

She thought to tell him, not everything, but just enough that if he found out he could understand. Wasn't that she was leavin' him for Jayne, not a thing like it, was just that she was leavin' and Jayne was...there, Jayne was comin' no matter what. But there wasn't words enough in English or Mandarin to explain the whys of that. Walkin' away from Simon was like comin' down with fever real fast, left her unsteady and fitful, and she knew she'd have to lock her door, though Jayne might not understand. She could whisper him a reason and curl up tight, take a goramn minute to grieve before....before him. 

She didn't have to, Cap'n took him and River on the shuttle headin' to a job, left Zoe in charge, said they'd be back in three days. Kaylee heard them from her hideout in the engine room, Jayne and River bickering in their odd manner as Mal hollered for them to get their butts on board if they was wantin' to eat this week. 

They were an odd group left behind, Zoe, Inara, Simon and Kaylee. Quiet, but peacefully so. Bein' around Simon without Jayne near was a kindness, let her ease into the start of a new friendship with him. Slow, to be sure, slow and uncertain but it looked to be there. She even spent a night with Zoe on the bridge, drinkin' the freshest wine Serenity had to offer and laughing `bout old stories, when they was all together. 

They was late comin back, but not for nothin' worrisome. Kaylee was there when Zoe got the wave, Cap'n lookin' tetched but healthy when he said, 

"Jobs gone a mite wooly," 

Glared behind him at River and Jayne when they started laughin' at the same time, River so hard she had to lean against Jayne, Jayne stuffin' his fist in his mouth to stop. 

"And we'll be a bit late....nothin' to worry about, the giggle twins will be happy to tell you all manner of stories about it when we get back. Shut it, you two!" 

Zoe kept a straight face as she killed the wave, but Kaylee couldn't help but to grin. Was the sight of Jayne had caused it, thought of hearing the story from him, two of them laughin' together like he'd done with River. Made her happy in a way she hadn't felt in months, sort of happy didn't end with your face but went all through you, down to your toes. 

Happy hadn't worn off when she heard them come home in the wee hours of the morning, heard Zoe and Mal heading to the bridge, heard Jayne drop into his bunk. She barely breathed, just lay and listen as he moved about, stowed his guns before going to his sink to clean up, maybe shave the stubble she'd seen in the wave. 

Words tumbled out of her, clear as bells. 

"Don't shave. I like it when you're scruffy." 

Just a beat and he answered. 

"Your door locked?" 

It wasn't and she gulped. 

"Find out." 

He was quick, too quick, she heard him go up his ladder and she thought for a moment to lock her door, after all. She was next to her ladder with her hand hovering over the lock a minute too late, and the sight of his bare foot on her top rung made her glad of her slowness. He dropped down, bare all over but for a pair of low slung cargo pants, and Kaylee blushed when he took in her own self, in a t-shirt that hid near nothin'. For a full minute they just...stared. 

And then he moved, pressed her back up against her ladder, her fingers already tugging at his zipper as he pushed her t-shirt up and off, their thighs bumping until he picked her up, let her wrap both legs around his waist and stopped. 

They were quiet like they'd never been, didn't say a word, didn't even touch more than was needed to keep them pinned to each other, didn't kiss or nuzzle, just panted low until Kaylee gasped at him. 

"Jayne, I need you to be..." 

But he was, her plea ended in a dark groan to match his as he pushed into her, all the force of his body in that one desperate plunge. Kaylee had one hand on her ladder and one over his shoulder as he thrust into her, two of them barely touching each other, just staring hard, eyes staying open even as Kaylee's orgasm flung her brain like a catapult. Jayne followed right after, with sharp gasps sounded like they was yanked out of him. Kaylee threw her head back, grinned `cause she knew it would be that way, knew without knowin' that he'd have that sort of control, be the sort of man to always follow her, not the other way `round. 

He wrapped his arms around her then, pulled her close to him and staggered them to the bed, dropped onto it so she was in his lap, her legs wrapped around him still, his cock still hot inside her, makin' him hiss as they settled down. 

She let her body fall into him, felt his hands roaming over her back and down across her ass, cupping it with a small squeeze before they roamed back up, around to her breasts and across the tops of her thighs. She realized hers were little travelers themselves, she traced his biceps, his back, his chest, his belly and even his knees playfully before lookin' up to his face. 

He was waiting for her there, his eyes all over her as he grasped her chin, pulled her like gravity to his lips and kissed like every kiss should be. All trembles and push, his tongue pouring over her as she gave back what she got, tasted cigars and...chocolate, wondered where he stashed it and then wondered not a thing as he rolled her onto her back, leaving her brain three feet above when it didn't follow. He was hard inside her again and she moaned like whores must, like nobody cared how it sounded, twisted her hips up for more but he surprised her, pulled out with a gasp and looked down on her. Shook his head. 

She gaped at him, moved to get up on her elbows and maybe beat on him a bit, bit he just grinned like wicked knives and pushed her down, the weight of his body full on her so that she thought she might drown in it. Tickled her face with his scruff as he whispered in her ear. 

"Nunh unh." 

She squirmed against him. 

"Don't be ornery, Jayne." 

He laughed. 

"Ain't ornery, just that I reckon you owe me hours of foreplay." 

His voice was a threat that she was learning to take seriously and the knowing made her gasp a bit. 

"Yeah, might even take days. Hell, they may come lookin for us in a week or two, but I ain't leavin' this bunk until you've made every little sound I've ever heard out of ya." 

She laughed softly into his mouth as he leaned down to kiss her again, his hand slipping down her body. 

"Every sound?" 

"Uh huh. Twice, at least." 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **Slim as DImes**   
Author:   **belasera**   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **NC-17**  |  **het**  |  **37k**  |  **10/20/05**   
Characters:  Kaylee, Jayne, Simon   
Pairings:  Kaylee/Jayne Kaylee/Simon   
Summary:  Oh,the things you hear in a cracked spaceship!   
  



End file.
